Don’t go down to the woods today… Assault (1971), Network Blu-ray

 

Now, here’s a thing, I had no idea that the composer Eric Rogers was no relation to Peter Rogers despite their working together dozens of times mostly on Carry on films, all but two had Eric’s scoring. Born in Halifax, Eric’s real name was Eric Gaukroger although he later hyphenated his surname to Gauk-Roger. As with Peter though, Eric diversified and this thriller was one of a number of a number of more “adult” crime thrillers they worked on including Vengeance (1971) and the excellent All Coppers Are (1972), also available on Network Blu-ray and also directed by Sidney Hayers.

I've started off with the Rogers as I’m always slightly surprised to find them away from comedy and especially Eric as clearly, he’s more evident in the films than the Producer. His score here very effectively contributes to the brooding menace and the sense of threat that powers the narrative. In terms of visual subtlety, Hayers is more efficient than inventive but it still works as an unsettling watch albeit one reliant on the male gaze and sexualised threat to femininity. Is it exploitation, probably but it’s well acted and sincere entertainment of its time…

We start off at a posh all-girls school as an array of period cars arrives to collect the slightly mature looking young women. If you like classic British motors, then you will not be disappointed with the films deployment of Morris, Triumph and Jaguar cars; art-teacher Julie West (the divine Suzy Kendall) drives a Morris Minor estate, Det. Chief Supt. Velyan (Frank Finlay) has a Morse-type Jaguar and Freddie Jones’ nasty reporter has a sporty model I’m yet to identify, possibly and MGA Coupe? That plus all of the Morris Minor Panda cars…

Shouldn't you be studying for your A-levels Lesley-Anne?

But the real story starts with one of the girls, Tessa Hurst (a 17-year old Lesley-Anne Down in her first starring role) taking a short-cut home through the woods which leads to her being viciously assaulted under the shadow of an electric power station, it’s unsettling to watch, a bit too voyeuristic for me, but thankfully not overplayed. The result leaves Tessa catatonic with shock and unable to talk as she’s taken in to care at a mental hospital by Doctor Greg Lomax (James Laurenson) who along with specialist Mr. Bartell (Anthony Ainley, famously The Master in Doctor Who after Roger Delgado).

The police launch an investigation under the command of Chief Super Velyan and Det. Sgt. Beale (James Cosmo, evergreen as he is and still performing!) and from this point on we will be introduced to a series of characters who are all a bit suspicious to some extent, the game of cat and red herring is afoot!

Obviously, it’s not going to be the lovely Julie who is as down with the kids as anyone in this rather odd school. Headmistress Mrs. Sanford (Dilys Hamlett) is so strait-laced it’s rather unlikely that she’s married to Tony Beckley’s creepy Leslie Sanford but that’s the point. Whilst she looks after the girls’ spiritual well-being he keeps an unblinking eye on their more earthy qualities, greedily eying them up in the playground or touching them up in the library (Janet Lynn, definitely over 18 and who played Carol Thatcher – no, not that one - with Robin Askwith in Cool it Carol! the year before).

Under suspicion: Tony Beckley, James Cosmo and Frank Dinlay

Then the situation gets even worse as another girl, Susan Miller (Anabel Littledale, aged 19) ignoring instructions and common sense, takes the same short-cut and this time the crime escalates to murder, with accompanying fleshy details. Julie, driving four other girls home, spots the missing pupil and drives her Morris into the woods, only to arrive just too late as she glimpses the killer, face lit by her red break lights in a demonic glow…

She cannot escape the image she saw nor explain it to the police and is all but laughed from the inquest when she describes her vision. Luckily for her Doctor Greg is on hand to support the very beautiful young woman in her hour of need, he has ulterior motive alright but is there anything more…? Certainly, of ill-intent is reporter Freddie Jones, playing a blinder as the grubby tabloid hack pushing for an angle and any salacious detail right to the point of pestering Julie at home.

The police assign Sgt. Milton (Patrick Jordan) to protect Julie as she paints the image she remembers and, in collusion with the reporter, puts a story in the papers that she can draw the face of the killer she recalls… it’s a very high-risk strategy and one we know will bring her into danger. But who will it be, one of the good guys or one of the obviously bad ones?

James Laurenson and Suzy Kendall

Dusty Verdict: Assault is an entertaining thriller that gets the job done with the aid of some very good performances especially from Frank Findley, who’s always so nuanced he could be one of the suspects… maybe he is, and Suzy Kendall who made a career out of playing female febrility, a Derbyshire Julie Christie!

The set pieces are well executed and the villain is a genuine mystery for long enough… And, apart from the classy, classic cars, there’s some fab cameos including Mr David Essex as the leather-jacketed Man in Chemist Shop looking for help for his girlfriend’s nosebleed. It’s definitely not him…

You can order the Blu-ray direct from Network and at a great price, there’s so much on their website, you’ll probably come away with more than you budgeted for!

 

 

 

Freddie

 

 

The Headmistress' Husband is unsuitable for educational work...

David Essex!

 

The car section...
 

Classic cars...

Really Sidney? Cars and short skirts...

Morris Minor Estate with wooden trim: classic!

Jaguar

Morris Pandas

Is that an MGA Coupe?

 

Plenty of filling… The Sandwich Man (1966), Network Blu-ray out now

 

This is something of a city symphony from the fourth Goon and full of gentle charm to match the multiple locations across the capital, some of which have hardly changed, with others long since gone leaving no trace of “Swinging” London left. As a story the narrative is very thin and essentially just an excuse to see those sights as well as to allow dozens of guest stars to performing skits of varying levels of humour. The commentary from Producer/Cinematographer Peter Newbrook confirms that the entire picture was shot on location and that whilst they hit all their main targets, subterfuge was required to film certain scenes in the West End, given the unhelpful attitude of the authorities. This is a great advert for the vibrancy of the dirty old town and is a quirky near-classic!

Written by Michael Bentine together with Robert Hartford-Davis who also directs, great credit should also go to Newbrook’s cinematography and Peter Taylor’s editing. If it were nothing else, The Sandwich Man would stand as eloquent testimony to the time and place but it’s the guest stars that make it and only someone with Bentine’s address book could have pulled this off: Norman Wisdom, Diana Dors, Harry H. Corbett, Dora Bryan, Bernard Cribbins and Terry-Thomas… even Brian Cant pops up in a cameo. Delays also pushed them into the late summer/early autumn and the weather then became an issue. So, light comedy it may be, but we shouldn’t doubt the determination to get it made and it’s hard to keep sunny smiling when the cool wind come off the Thames…

It begins and ends with a street and some pigeons as the camera swoops down from the foggy East End sun to a row of colourful Victorian cottages. Out of the first comes Da Sikhars, two Indian jazz musicians played by Leon Thau (Ram) and Hugh Futcher (Gogi) in now-jarring brown-face – what was it about the Goons and playing Indians? Thau worked with Bentine in It’s a Square World before producing and directing Michael Bentine's Potty Time complete with legendary ant circus!

Dora and Michael

Next door along sees Roger Delgado emerge as Abdul, the carpet seller, followed by Burt Kwouk who defies racial stereotyping by jumping into an Italian ice cream van… just as cringeworthy today but in the context of 1966 all of a piece with a warm comment on the emerging diversity.

Next door to Burt is Horace Quilby (Bentine) pigeon fancier and sandwich man employed, for those of you from the 21^st Century, to walk the streets of central London advertising services on cardboard signs slung over his shoulders, in this case Finklebaum & O’Casey Gents Bespoke Overcoats & West End Suits. His neighbour is played by the legendary Dora O’Brien, who takes a break from beating her carpet to inquire about his racing pigeon, Esmerelda, who is involved in a major race from Bordeaux to London. There’s a frisson between the two… the promise of more just as Horace’s feathered friend might bring him greater success in the sporting world of Columba livia domestica. 

Horace is a man of small pleasures, always looking on the bright side and enjoying people watching during his endless days of mobile advertising. He greats his neighbours and talks to a stunning young woman, Sue (Suzy Kendall, one of the faces of the era, star of Up the Junction and, in the seventies, many a Giallo film) who is having a falling out with her luxury car salesman boyfriend, Steven (David Buck). Steven arrives in one of many lovely period cars and there’s a great reaction shot from the bus queue as they look from side to side as the couple argue.

Super Suzy Kendall

Sue and Steven form the main thread with a running argument throughout the film exacerbated by the former’s job as a model being photographed by Bernard Cribbins who is, as always, a joy with more than a few improvised lines as he, literally, falls dahn an ‘ole in the grahnd being dug by David Lodge and his men. Da Sikhars also spend most of the film, erm, seeking to get to an Indian jazz festival and, Horace sees it all.

But the biggest hits come from the incredible list of stars. At the time they didn’t come much bigger than Norman Wisdom who plays a boxing vicar at a boys’ club near St Pauls. He has an “oirish” accent and does all his own stunts some of which are quite remarkable for a 51-year old. He’s positively Chaplinesque as indeed is Charlie’s son from his marriage to Oona, Michael J Chaplin, who plays a pavement artist during the Cribbins-Kendall-working men sequence. As with all of Chaplin’s kids, the most famous face in the world gives them a familiarity. Striking that we’re further away from this film than it was from The Great Dictator, Modern Times and even his classic period with Keystone, Mutual and Essanay.

Elsewhere we’re gifted with Terry Thomas as a scout leader trying to give Da Sikhars a lift before falling foul of a traffic policeman played by Ian Hendry, who shows his range as the comedically-tense copper on a bad day which culminates in his packing it all in when two cars collide (near Tolworth Tower on the A3, not central London) and the drivers are men in costume, a Kangaroo – who possibly jumped a red light – and a Polar Bear. Many of these sketches were drawn from Bentine’s It’s a Square World, they can be hit and miss but everyone contains those guest stars.

Norman nurses his bruises...

There’s a lovely sequence in Billingsgate Fish Market with Diana Dors debating the relative values of Doctor Kildare with Anna Quayle, and the camera keeps cutting to fish getting gutted, by Frank Findlay no less, as the women discuss TV operations… it’s well observed. We also get Abdul haggling with Sydney Tafler over exchanging one of his carpets for 30 pounds… of fish.

Sometimes the stars are in extended skits, Harry H. Corbett as a Stage-Door Keeper amidst a West-End chorus line rehearsal – lots of legs in that one – then Stanley Holloway as Park Gardener engaged in a running battle with Alfie Bass’ model yachtsman. Other times you blink and you miss them, and I was pleased with myself for spotting a young Georgina Hale as the motorcycle pillion rider who loses the bottom half of her leathers in Soho.

Still they keep on coming, Wilfrid Hyde-White as a rather confused Lord Uffingham, confusing pigeon owner Horace with a horse owner at the Hilton, Warren Mitchell as Gypsy Sid, reading tea leaves in a café and John Le Mesurier as the Senior Sandwich Man, Zebadiah, the almost mystical head of this peculiar group of workers.

Terry Thomas, what an absolutely spiffing idea!

There’s too many to mention and you’ll just have to make like Horace when he hits the tope of the stairs between Pall Mall and the Mall and stretches out his arms in appreciation of the Sun’s strengthening rays. I worked two summer seasons at a Butlins in North Wales and one of the comics there used to travel the whole north west coast and beyond. I asked him how he put up with so much travelling and he said just by enjoying the journey, people watching and making the most of each day.

I reckon Michael Bentine, and so many of his co-stars, knew that feeling all too well and there’s a Zen-like quality to this film. All will be well, just keep o keeping on and hope for the best… it’s the best you can hope for.

A quick tip of the hat to composer Mike Vickers whose music plays such a part in the film’s coherence and mood. The Sandwich man was well liked by those who saw it according to Peter Newbrook but it wasn’t the commercial success they hoped. Maybe the style was already slightly behind the times for the younger audience but this excellent transfer from Network brings to life again those locations and those ace faces.

The film comes with a host of special features:

·         Brand-new interviews with composer Mike Vickers, production accountant Maureen Newman, actor Hugh Futcher and draughtsman Alan Cassie

·         Archive interview with Michael Medwin

·         Archive commentary with producer/cinematographer Peter Newbrook

·         Theatrical Trailers

·         Soho Bites podcast with image gallery

·         Limited edition booklet written by Melanie Williams

It’s out now and you can order direct from Network – another hugely enjoyable winner and at a very reasonable price too!

 

 

Curtis and Moore are… The Persuaders! Take 50, Network Blu-ray Box Set

Nitro and glycerine… A very potent combination...

Interviewed by Barry Norman for the 40^th Anniversary, Roger Moore talked about hedging his bets by investing in fabric and clothes design, the lad from Stockwell always anticipating the acting work drying up. It never did though and pretty quickly after this series he was offered millions to play James Bond and the rest is history.

Moore had, of course, already played The Saint in one of ITC’s most successful series and one that epitomised their successful sixties formula from Danger Man, Department S to Randall and Hopkirk Deceased. Managed by Lew Grade, ITC carried on producing series up to Sapphire and Steel in 1979 but perhaps The Persuaders, produced by Robert S. Baker and an uncredited Moore, distributed by Grade, is one of its most ambitious peaks. Apart from Moore, the series included Hollywood royalty in Tony Curtis, featured a host of guest stars and character actors and was filmed on location as well as Pinewood.

The sheer hell of Monte Carlo...

When Roger and Tony race their beautiful cars around winding Mediterranean coast lines, it’s not all back projection, they’re actually there in Monte Carlo, Rome, Nice and all points in between, along with a good many interiors shot in Pinewood of course. This show was a travelogue as much as an adventure series and the whole family relished the class, the sophistication and the humour. A huge success in Europe the show fared less well in the US due to scheduling issues but the arrival of a new Aston Martin for Mr Moore also put paid to further series.

What we have left though are 24 episodes of polished adventure that showcases a real warmth between Tony and Roger… they may have worked in different ways but they were both funny as well as handsome leading men. Whilst Moore designed, Curtis often did his own stunts and, after extensive training for the likes of Trapeze, we see him climbing up buildings, somersaulting and generally getting stuck in a la Douglas Fairbanks. There’s great energy and abundant entertainment.

Laurence Naismith

As was common, some of the episodes were stuck together to present feature length films and this sparkling new box set from Network, collects together eight of these films, four of which have not been seen with the original English dialogue before. All are from remastered and restored 35mm negatives and look incredible on the Blu-ray digital transfer, our old TV could never has presented the originals in anything like this quality back in 1971-2.

In addition to the movies we also get the above interview from the 40^th Anniversary along with some behind-the-scenes background to that event, then there’s an interview with Tony Curtis from 2006 as well as two individual episodes, Overture (1971) and Greensleeves (1971) both of which come complete with commercial breaks and classic adverts that bring the nostalgia flooding back; “can yer ride tandem?” asks the chimp in the PG Tips advert, how come we remember so much? There’s a whole evening’s viewing here if you want to be transported back to beige and teal living rooms, cocktail in hand and soda siphon at the ready. There’s also a handsome brand-new 140-page book with more merchandise and memorabilia to tempt you on eBay as you rebuild your early seventies bachelor pad complete with Dinky Ferrari and DBS…

The Ferrari Dino 246 GT top speed is 146 mph and the Aston Martin DBS 141 mph... yet, it was supposed to be a V8 which had a top speed of 150 mph!

Now to the “films” which, unlike with some ITC programmes have not been re-edited, merely joined together, which preserves the flow of the original episodes and just leave you waiting a little longer for John Barry’s magnificent theme music, one of his greatest and probably one of the best in TV history.

DISC ONE

The Persuaders! (1972)

This film starts us off with the very first episode, Overture (1971), in which Judge Fulton (the legend that is Laurence Naismith) decides on bringing together two rich playboys to firstly act as his means of seeking out those who avoid the courts and secondly, enable them to become the men they could be… Whilst the series clearly presents the entire lifestyle as highly desirable, what is also key is that those with wealth must do good to earn moral authority. But one doesn’t want to raise Roger’s eyebrow too much over all that… we’re all here to have fun and the title sequence, packed with glamorous cars, locations and women, flavoured with Barry’s swaggering synths, tells us all we need to know.

That title sequence also eloquently briefs us on the two main characters’ background, Lord Brett Sinclair (Moore) entitled but also physically brave and intelligent plus Danny Wilde, self-made and self-confident, now enjoying the fruits of his labour. The Judge throws them together and the sparks fly as they trash a restaurant in the ensuing clash of egos. Fulton says he can get them off if only they help him find out more about a beautiful young brunette, Maria (Imogen Hassall) who is being guarded by two members of a gang once run by her late brother…

The two episodes are in regular TV format...

There is a lot of opportunity to see Moore and Curtis fire off each other as their characters compete to win the girl and solve the puzzle. There’s also plenty of wit with Danny trying to persuade Maria that he’s Italian from a “Small little village outside Milan called Pasolini…” – how much is improvised is open to debate but what we do know is that his and Moore’s style and approach was quite different. As Roger said to Barry, he was pissed a fair amount which balanced out with Tony who was mostly stoned…

The story then runs into Episode 17 Five Miles to Midnight (1972), in which another gangster, this time an American in Rome, Frank Rocco (Robert Hutton) is on the run from the Mafia and Judge Fulton asks his boys to help out. Together with photographer Sidonie (Joan Collins), they head out into the Italian countryside whilst the Judge takes a dummy with him by train.

... but the films are widescreen. Tony and Joan.

Hutton and Collins, especially, have great chemistry with Curtis and Moore and this feels like a classic rom-com adventure with a fair amount of will-they-wont-they manoeuvring as Sid takes pictures for the papers and Rocco tries to go his own way. There’s one line about the “Scarlet Pumpernickel” from Curtis that I remember had us all in stiches watching in 1972… memories are, indeed, made of this.

Mission: Monte Carlo (1974)

We’re off to Monte Carlo next for two tales on the Cote d-Azure starting with episode five Powerswitch (1971) in which Danny and Brett discover a drowned go-go dancer as the water ski. Once again, the Judge has his local police encourage, nay, persuade, them to investigate her disappearance with the aid of her roommate Pekoo Rayne (Annette Andre, relishing the chance to play with two live partners for a change…). There’s some go-go action with Lionel Blair as the choreographer and a group of baddies including Terence Alexander

Back to episode two, The Gold Napoleon (1972), for the second half of the film as a beautiful young artist Michelle Devigne (the super-natural Susan George who is always so loaded with feeling) is shot in what looks like an assassination attempt on Danny. Things turn out to be far more complicated as Michelle’s uncle is being coerced into gold smuggling by turning the metal into rare “bronze” coins…

Cue a chance to hear Roger’s German accent as the boys swing in…

Annette Andre with Sinclair & Wilde (Not Deceased)

 

DISC TWO

London Conspiracy (1974)

It’s a switch to the darkened streets of Blighty courtesy of episode four Greensleeves (1971) as the abandoned Greensleeves Manor is remarkably restored unbeknownst to its rightful owner, one Lord Brett Sinclair. With the aid of Department S’s Rosemary Nicols as Melanie Sadler Brett impersonates himself to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Another property forms the basis of episode 16 A Home of One's Own (1971), with Special Detective Lucy Scott (Hannah Gordon, one of my father’s favourites) helping Danny investigate the dark secrets if his new, very old, country cottage.

Rosemary Nicols and Andrew Kier

 

Sporting Chance (1975)

The boys maintain their Bruce Wayne existence and in episode eight, Anyone Can Play (1971), Danny attracts unwanted attention after winning a large sum at a Brighton casino. There are spies after him as he gets mistaken for a Russian paymaster. Contains Britain’s favourite Australian Ed Devereaux, glamorous Cyd Hayman and Richard Vernon as a posh person as per… I wonder if he really was?

It was only a matter of time before the boy racers get some speed in and they do so with episode 24, Someone Waiting (1971) as they get involved in the deadliest of races. This is one of a number of episodes written by the great Terry Nation and it involves Jenny Hanley too, what more could you want?

Not as much back projection as you'd expect... locations are generally real.

DISC THREE

The Switch (1976)

The series did pack in a range of storylines despite the constraints of the playboy settings and in episode 10 Angie... Angie (1971), Danny bumps into an old pal form the Bronx, Angie (Larry Storch) who turns out to be a real friend in need.

Next up from Russia with love/back in the USSR and episode 22 The Ozerov Inheritance (1971) in which the legendary Gladys Cooper plays the former Grand Duchess Ozerov who is looking to establish her family’s right to a jewellery collection. We also get to see Arnold Ridley as Uncle Rodney together with the statutory appearance of Anoushka Hempel in an ITC series.

Jenny Linden get's sandwiched.

The following films have not previously available in English…

The Last Appointment (1972)

This starts with episode 14 The Man in the Middle (1971) and features the wonderful Terry-Thomas as Brett’s cousin Archie who has to help when the boys get targeted by an MI5 agent played by the luminescent Suzy Kendall. There’s a traitor in the camp and Archie needs to step up before it’s too late.

Heiress Shirley Masterton (Jennie Linden) is the feature of episode 23 To the Death, Baby (1972), as she is targeted by conman Carl Foster (Terence Morgan) but things are not as they seem… a game of triple bluff, or is it?

DISC FOUR

Death Becomes Me

Roger Moore revisits the theme of his well-regarded doppelganger feature, The Man Who Haunted Himself, in episode seven, Someone Like Me (1971). Brett is kidnapped and it looks like he has been used to create a perfect copy with cosmetic surgeon’s materials found where he was held. The other Brett starts doing violence and Danny has to work out what is actually happening fast. The cats include Bernard Lee, Johnny Briggs and the ill-fated Vivian Neves as Danny’s girl.

Tony and Vivian Neves

Everything turns Ealing with a nod to Kind Hearts and Coronets in episode 21 A Death in the Family (1972). Roger appears in a number of familial roles – although is not too convincing as his aunt – it’s still great fun. Someone is bumping off the Sinclairs and Brett is on the list unless he and Danny, plus Diane Cilento can find out which member of the increasingly small Sinclair clan is responsible. Another gift from Terry Nation.

Sadly, as a methodical assassin has been killing off the noble and honourable members of the Sinclair Clan one by one, Brett who is next in line, must find a way to flush him out, of course with the aid of Danny and possibly the last Sinclair standing...

Of course some might say that Willie Rushden and Tony Curtis would have been just as good...

Masqueraders

Another superb guest star here in episode 15, Element of Risk, with Peter Bowles as a crook planning a gold robbery who mistakes Danny for a criminal mastermind as a result of a microfilm – I love microfilms! – in an attaché case dropped in Danny's luggage; don’t you just hate it when that happens? Danny goes undercover to foil the theft at risk to life and limbs.

Danny goes undercover again in Episode 12 That’s Me Over There (1971), this time impersonating Brett to comedic effect in an effort to bring a crooked entrepreneur, Thaddeus Krane (the ace Geoffrey Keen) to justice. The boys have come full circle and whilst they still enjoy the La Dolce Vita, they continue to bring the Judge’s justice to those who could, like them, afford to avoid it should they chose.

This humour and sheer likability of Moore and Curtis ensures the series’ continued success but also this moral driver for their activity. We celebrate their adventurous, rich lives precisely because they are willing to risk everything to do the right thing. It’s only a comedy drama I know but these things are important… especially if you drive the cars they do in the way they do it!

DISC FIVE

The extras are superb on the final disc with that 40th Anniversary Event Q&A along with an interview with Tony Curtis from 2006 and the two episodes with adverts. An evening of Persuaders awaits and you can leaf through Jaz Wiseman’s superb 140-page book that's full to bursting with merchandise and memorabilia as you watch.

Another superb package from Network and one that does full service to this series. You can order it now, I just have as my sister, who met both Tony and Roger, wants if for her birthday. Details on the Network site.