Showing posts with label Elke Sommer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elke Sommer. Show all posts

Saturday, 28 September 2019

Hard times... Percy's Progress (1974)


Penny Irving, Leigh Lawson and Judy Matheson
OK. They made a follow up to the film about a man who has a penis transplant.

The first film had Hywel Bennett as the beneficiary of the spare part and did very well at the box office reputably making £500,000 profit. I know little about it other than the fact that the Kinks wrote the theme and that’s how I first heard of it and now I really must watch it. This follow up features Leigh Lawson as Percy, an altogether more likely leading man yet perhaps less adept at handling the comedy of Sid Colin, Ian La Frenais (as unlikely as it seems) and (Harry H. Corbett, the dirty old man…).

It’s a 70’s “sex” “comedy” which focuses less on the added appendage and more on the virility it has endowed. Percy’s prowess is a blessing at first but he soon finds it a curse especially after the USA accidentally dumps a chemical agent at sea which leaves him as the only man left to stand up for the human race…

Elke Sommer and Leigh Lawson
We start the film with Percy caught in bed with Clarissa (Elke Sommer), one of any number of married women he is involved with… Jeffcot, a private dick (ha-hah!) played by James Booth, has tracked him down with enough photographers to ensure conviction. Percy duly has his day in court – with the gallery packed with conquests old and new – but escapes justice with the help of PC 217 (Adrienne Posta), who cannot resist his charms and drives him off to the coast.

Percy hides away on a yacht for long months, drinking champagne and trying to forget women even though he can’t escape his dreams and imagines a pod of dolphins as naked women… but he snaps to in time for the comely cetaceans to escape his attentions.

Perky Posta!
Meanwhile the Yanks have unleashed their reverse-Viagra on mankind and it looks like the world will end with a billion masculine whimpers and not with a bang after all. The human reproduction line has been halted by the involuntary withdrawal of all members.

Percy can stand amorous abstinence no longer and lands his yacht at a Mediterranean port where he is able to enjoyed a free ride (sorry, but you chose to read this ramble!) at the local brothel where we find a bounteous bevvy of unemployed workers including the stunning Penny Irving and the stunning Judy Matheson (nee Jarvis) who is clearly having fun with all this. Judy has spoken warmly about the film recently and it’s easy to forget that this was a) work and b) a daft comedy with actors who knew each other having a laugh and entertaining the audience too. It’s not Bergman or Antonioni but it’s Ralph Thomas alright: director of Doctor in the House, A Pair of Briefs and Deadlier than the Male to name but three.

 Anthony Andrews, Harry H Corbett and Leigh Lawson
News gets out that there’s a functioning man left and the search begins for Percy with Harry H. Corbett popping up as a British Prime Minister, not unlike Harold Wilson, complete with a Yorkshire accent and mutterings about "thirteen years of Tory misrule" – you never had it so good mate, try 2019 for size! The PM devises the plan to pimp out Percy and a competition is launched to find a line of women to, erm, work with him in furthering the species.

Meanwhile a team of doctors works hard on finding a lift for humanity’s hopes, led by a mad Dr. Anderson (Barry Humphries who also doubles – of course - as an Australian TV Lady) and Dr. Klein (Milo O'Shea) who is assisted by Dr. Fairweather (played by Judy Geeson equipped with over-eager American accent and a character surely founded on one of Dr Kildare’s more admiring assistants).

The list of talent goes on with Denholm Elliott as Percy’s transplant surgeon, Sir Emmanuel Whitbread, Vincent Price as multi-millionaire, Stavos Mammonian and T. P. McKenna as a news editor.

Madeline Smith and Alan Lake, surprisingly cast as the compere at a beauty pageant
Joining the queue for Percy are Madeline Smith as Miss UK, Jenny Hanley as Miss Teenage Lust (natch) and Minah Bird as Miss America… Julie Ege and Carol Hawkins are, to no great surprise, in there too… consenting adults all and, actually, I think the balance in this film is away from the saucy/smut and towards Carry on… there is a story and Thomas paces things well around the utter lack of seriousness.

Dusty Verdict: You’ll still enjoy this if you’re in the mood and even if it’s only for spotting the talent. The idea of a man so irresistible to women he has to hide away is accentuated by the device of his being the only choice available and it’s maybe making a point about something. For the life of me I can’t quite work out what it is… but, never look a gift dolphin in the mouth.

A dolphin, yesterday
Jenny Hanley, Leigh Lawson and Carol Hawkins

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Silly but saved by Sharon… The Wrecking Crew (1968)


Sixties comic strip, multi-coloured pseudo-psychedelia, soundtracked by easy legend Hugo Montenegro in an attempt to make the likeable but seasoned, Rat Pack crooner hip enough for families with an increasingly-diverse cultural agenda… is there any point in watching The Wrecking Crew in 2014?

Yes it’s proto-Austen Powers Bond spoofery has genuine period charm and there are lots of groovy chicks and kung fu kicks on view (Bruce Lee choreographed the violence) but Dean Martin as a fifty-something photographer-cum-special agent? Then again, how can you take the mickey out of a film that’s way ahead of you on that score?

Dean adds up his fees for the four Helm films
Dean involves you in the joke and the joke is that he’s getting paid to walk through things pretty much as himself: singing re-worded Martin standards every time he encounters yet another beautiful woman willing to “lie down” with him to talk and always seeking out the drinks cabinet in every room he enters.

It’s knowing, exploitative and laid back, everyone loves some Deano sometimes and… we can’t just watch Antonioni and Bergman all of the time can we?

Sharon Tate
But what really made this film worthy of comment was watching Sharon Tate as the seemingly bumbling Danish tourist guide Freya Carlson who (obviously) is also a spy. This was the last of her films released before her brutal murder in August 1969 and you watch her all too aware of her tragedy to come. Yet the more I watched the more I thought that she should be remembered for her abilities and achievements rather than the manner of her exit (no matter how horrific and senseless).

The Wrecking Crew is far from the best film she made but she makes her mark with what she had and is energetic, funny and, of course, beautiful. On this evidence she was a versatile actress who would have made many interesting films but we have to appreciate those that she did make in her short span and pay her the tribute of remembering her as a person and not a victim. And this silly, occasionally funny, period piece is a part of her professional life.

Nigel Green - saved by his enduring sense of the ridiculous
The fourth in the Matt Helm series, The Wrecking Crew follows the existing formula of gadgets and girls with Helm (Dean Martin) up against a teched-up, organised and delightfully nasty baddy Count Contini (played by the always excellent Nigel Green who always seems so earnestly world-weary). Contini and his well-drilled mob hi-jack a trainload of gold bullion from a train in Denmark and are intent on using it to destabilise the markets of the western world.

Elke makes an entrance...
Contini is aided by his psychotic-but-lovely left-hand woman Linka Karensky (Elke Sommer) who makes a quite stunning entry in a close-fitting white dress slashed almost to her waist -  they really don’t make spies quite this curvaceous anymore… along with the alluring martial artist Wen Yu-Rang (Nancy Kwan).

After the robbery, the secret service calls Helm away from a surreal garden party/photo-shoot with a bevy of outlandishly attired models. He is briefed by commander 'Mac' MacDonald (John Larch) and told to follow the action to Denmark and to seek out Contini’s former confidant and squeeze, as Lola Medina (Tina Louise... as statuesque as Sommer).

Dean Martin meets Tina Louise
Helm meets Freya in his hotel and is immediately impressed by her legs if not her competency – geeky glasses and clumsy as Clark Kent she can’t be the real deal… or can she

Helm encounters Lola who seems very keen to unburden herself of Contini’s secret plan along with most of her clothes. Sadly, her former boss is ahead of the game and blows her up. Next he gets a visit from Wen Yu-Rang who is similarly drawn to Matt Helm’s magnetism: even though these women mean to kill him they want to enjoy the moment first – psycho-analyse that?!

Nancy Kwan holds talks with Dean Martin
Freya is on hand to get in the way/save the day and the two are chased up to a ski-lift by Wen’s men and we Martin performing some of the moves Bruce Lee put together – not too shabby Dean!

It’s only a matter of time before Linka tries her luck and she proves a match for Helm hiding one more gun than he expected but… so impressed is she that she wants to share the loot with him… or does she?


Everything careers towards the inevitable conclusions and you know at some point it’ll be down to a scrap between Matt and Contini but not before some entertaining gadgetry at the latter’s mansion as Helm tries to avoid being inadvertently fried by Freya. We also have a car chase in which Matt reveals that he keeps are large chopper in his boot… he and Freya assemble the mini-copter in record time and fly off to hopefully stop Contini as he heads off with the billion in bullion to a suspiciously Californian-looking Luxembourg….


 Dusty verdict: Undemanding comfort cinema is an understatement but this is a period piece worth saving for a rainy day when all you can handle is bright entertainment. Matey Martin along for the laughs and it’s really no hardship watching Louise, Kwan, Sommer and the luminous Tate.

The Wrecking Crew is freely available from all good Amazons and there's also a boxed set of all four films if you've got flu or a really bad hang-over.

Matt Helm at his day job... really.
Bruce Lee got Dean kicking
Why Miss Carlson, without your glasses, etc...
Sorry, what's the plot again?